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Life is beautiful whether you're soaking in sunshine or caught in a thunderstorm. I take the beauty of life for granted too often. I have a supportive husband who I don't want to live life without, a beautiful son who is always reminding me of the simple things that really matter, and an independent daughter who is teaching me to throw schedules out the window and live in the moment. My day is made when free samples fill my mailbox. I love discovering a new product and sharing it with others. I hope you will enjoy reading my posts and will share your stories with me as well.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Our Christmas Tree 2014

Putting up our Christmas tree has been one of the very last things I wanted to do this year.  I'm so far from the Christmas spirit right now.  I'm still trying to process everything that has happened in the last 3 months that my emotional state is not very strong.  So many things will be different this year.  Change is never easy especially when you are control freak like myself.  

I've been in such a self absorbed state the last few days, feeling sorry for myself and how things just aren't the same this Christmas season.  I just wanted to curl up like a bear and hibernate until Spring and not deal with these feelings.  But isn't that what Satan wants me to do?  To be totally consumed with feeling sorry for myself that I don't have time for others or to remember the true meaning of Christmas.  

Bradley has been begging the last couple of days for a Christmas tree. So today we pulled out the Christmas tree (our first fake one in 9 years) and began to decorate.  I let go of my pride and controlling personality and allowed Bradley to decorate most of the tree his way.  This is the first for me.  Even Mike has rarely been allowed to decorate any of our trees in 10 years of marriage.  Yep, I'm that type of controlling person. 

 But this year is different.  I'm learning that I don't live in "Ashley's world".  I have a tender-hearted son watching my every move and I don't want him to grow up thinking the world revolved around me.  I would hate for him to say I never had time for him because I was so consumed with my own way of doing things.  I want him to know and understand the real reason we celebrate Christmas.   It's so much more than Christmas traditions, picking out the perfect tree, baking cookies, and driving around looking at pretty lights.

 And yes, the tree is far from my perfectly placed ornaments and we had several ornaments break but the happiness it brought Bradley was worth it.  I loved watching him pull out ornaments and talk about how he made them, or how he just loves this one, or how he wondered where this one was, etc.  This kid knows more about the joy of life than I do right now.  He is teaching me to let go and appreciate the little things.  And no, I'm not going to fix one single ornament.  He did a fantastic job!

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