Last week over Christmas break, I experienced why Proverbs 15:1 is so important. That verse says "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger". The morning had started off rough with both boys fighting by 8 am. My patience was running very thin and I could feel my frustration with the boys building up. Javeion was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I'm learning that a consistent daily routine, positive speaking, and healthy meals play a big part of Javeion's behavior. That day in particular we had been off schedule due to Christmas break and we had a sugary cereal for breakfast that morning. Javeion and Bradley started fighting over a silly toy. I snapped and crazy Mama came out and it was not pretty. I realized my anger had made the situation worse so I sent both boys to their individual rooms and I went to my bathroom. As I'm standing there I could feel the Holy Spirit telling me to go back to J's room, ask for forgiveness for my crazy Mama moment and to pray with him. It was honestly the last thing I wanted to do...admit that I was wrong and ask him for forgiveness when he was the one that started the fight. But I had to put my big girl panties on and do it. I'm pretty sure he was shocked when he heard me say "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." After I apologized to him, I prayed with him and asked God to give me patience and understanding with the boys. I wish I could describe the tone in the room after I prayed with Javeion. There was complete peace that went over both of us and we were both in better moods. The day went much better and I realized how a gentle answer can bring much happier endings. It's something I have to work on DAILY. It does not come naturally to me. I have to constantly ask God to help me remain calm and respond in a way that would be Christ-like.
Maya Angelou said "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".
When our foster children leave our home, I want them to remember a happy Mama that loved them dearly and made each one of them feel special. I don't want them to remember me as a Crazy Mama that hoots and hollers all the time. Gentle Answers = Happier Endings!